Thursday, January 8, 2009

I'm not a prude...

Yes, my first 'intimate subject' button. Read here for more about what this button stand for. For the people new to this concept, the intimate button is a little heads up for readers that the blogpost will contain some sensitive material. They then can chose whether or not to read on. It's the equivalent of lowering your voice when talking, and using a hushed tone.

The inspiration for the button came when I wanted to blog about something a few weeks back, but wondered if I would really like to talk about it in such a public forum. I realised that there are others about probably with this dilemma, wanting to adress something but slightly hesitant about putting it forth this openly. May the sheer curtains of the button help us speak about those more delicate subjects that we still want to talk of.

My inspiration for this post came in... a lingerie store. (See where that button comes in?) I do not think that anything in this post will shock anyone, but it's not a topic I would just speak about on a normal tone during my husbands office party.
It was a few days before new years and after a full year of nursing bra's etc. it had become time to update my underthings, with my husband in mind instead of a baby. I'm slowly adding some nice day to day underwear, but I also wanted something special that my husband would truly apreciate. Not that he does not apreciate me 'as is' but we also wrap a nice gift with a pretty bow, now don't we?
So, off to the lingerie store I go with plans to buy something fun and intimate. I wanted to just look through what was offered and make a selection based on what I thought he would like. Which means that you actually need to look through the various things on sale there instead of just grabbing the first thing in your size and rush back out. Again, not a problem. Except for the fact that the whole store seemed filled with men. Teenage girls with their boyfriends, women with their husbands or lifepartners.

I won't even start on what I think about teenage boys in a lingerie store, but grown women might spare a thought for eachother before dragging men in.
Slipping past another woman in a crowded store and selecting a red little number is well enough as it is. But I just don't want to ask a man "excuse me... could you step aside a moment, I want to look at the lace panties behind you". I don't want any strange men see me debating between a red, black or gold lacy thing. They probably don't even see me, but I do not want the possibility of them imagining how their wife looks in the green negligee she is holding in front, and then shift their eyes to me at three feet distance debating between the little pink number with the roses or the cream garterbelt.
I'm not a prude. I'm in there with the rest of them, delighting in all things feminine and intimate, but is it weird that I do not want a strange man to see me holding and contemplating things that are only intended for my husband? We often talk about clothing that makes you guess what is underneath it. Well, if I were a man, and a woman parades in front of me holding up a sexy little number, it might be hard NOT to imagine her in it.

If you are intimate enough with a man to buy lingerie with him in mind, I hope you know him well enough to know his taste. So please, ladies... leave the men at home! It will make the shopping experience for other women a whole lot more pleasant.

PS. I ended up not buying anything in that store. I felt too uncomfortable browsing. A few days later I tried again in another store where there luckily were mostly women present and found what I wanted.


tiffibug said...

I thought I was the only one who was uncomfortable with men in a lingerie store! Honestly it feels icky to be looking at something and glance up to see a man staring at what you have in your hands.

A Little Of A Lot said...

I could not agree with you more.
Can you believe they actually have a male sales associate at our local Victoria's Secret ? There is no way I will ever buy my lingerie from a man, and what makes it worse is that he is only 21, my oldest daughter knows him and was quite disturbed when she saw him working behind the counter.
What were they thinking ?

momma read said...

Oh my! I use to work at a VS, and men would come in to buy something for his lady. You ask what size she is, because surely he knows, and they look you up and down and say "about your size, little smaller than you, or she a bit bigger than you"! not really what you were getting ready to hear!
I'm shocked that they are letting men work in these stores. That use to not be allowed. (they could only hire as packers and had to work in the back)

Shannon said...

What's this "shopping" you speak of?? LOL!!