Feminine Friday

In Feminine friday, Kelly gives me an interesting dillema this friday. "What book do you feel best exhibits femininity or possesses a character who exemplifies positive feminine qualities?"
What do you mean 'what book'? You mean I should chose only one? Oh good heavens...

What books spring to mind immediately? Books that I love? One of my all time favorites is The Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Even though this is about a girl, not a woman, I definitely think it offers a glimp of how a child can grow into true womanhood. How kindness and determination under misfortune can shape a character. And how to keep up faith and hope when things seem to have no way out. I love Sarah Crewe's view on 'being a princess' and how she manages to be kind even while having lead a spoiled life.

Another favorite would be Sense and Sensibility. While most people immediately go to Pride and Prejudice as their favorite Austin, Sense and Sensibility has a special place in my heart, specifically because of the two qualities of which it bears the title: sense and sensibility. The combination of keeping to politeness and the demands of society on one side, to do your duty to your own family and to do so with a cheery face even when you feel like your heart is breaking, and a sincere love in your heart for others at the same time, to look at others and see their faults and still be able to love them, all that makes me a great admirer of Elinor Dashwood.

And then there is "Little Women". Few books have been written that so illustrate a coming of age of girls turning into women, becoming wives and mothers. Most people favor Jo. She is the quintessential heroine that so many teenagers identify with. Slightly ackward, wanting to rebel, writing stories, and trying to do 'something wonderful'. I too identified a lot with Jo, especially in her desire to write, naturally. And sometimes I wanted to be like Beth, full of cheerful self sacrifice and quiet caring.
Looking back and rereading the books at least once every year, I think my favorite heroine actually is Amy though. While I spoke of Laurie in this post, I am in awe of the way Amy manages to overcome her faults, the way she learns to put vanity aside but still value femininity, how she learns to handle the little humiliations of life with grace and heaps burning coals on the head of those that hurt her. How she manages to achieve domestic bliss and a serene spirit. Yes... Amy is definitely a favorite.

There are others though, probably not known to any but friends from Belgium or the Netherlands who read this book. Maud in "schoolidyllen" being the most notable one. Her combination of refinement and simplicity, as well as her sensitivity and desire for justice were something I always admired. And I always loved the ending of Hasse Simonsdochter. How she managed after the wild life she had lead with Jan van Schaffelaere not to be hardened and still do what was best for her daughter, to seemingly even becoming happy in a simple life, becoming a good wife.

Well... that was more than one book or one character, wasn't it? Let's better stop here before I start on French literature!

Feminine Friday

I gladly participate in feminine friday again this week and am taking my cue from the Barefoot mama. Her wonderful entry goes in search for the missing cute little girl dresses of yesterday. Now I am giving the subject a twist though. In my childhood, dresses were out. One of my biggest laments of being a child in Belgium in the late seventies and into the eighties is the lack of beautiful dresses. I was a girly girl. I loved dresses and would have kept them nice and clean too! For my confirmation, I ended up with a white pantsuit combination because it was impossible to find a nice white dress for the occasion. I am glad that as an adult I can find all the nice dresses and skirts that I have missed all these years.

Now that I am mother of a cute, wonderful 14 month old boy, my biggest frustration is the absence of cute, wonderful clothes for him! Where are the little sailor outfits? The tiny suits? The pants with white shirts and little ties. I am all too aware that dressing up has long gone out of the window for anything but weddings and funerals -and even there you can find yourself out of luck- I want to dress my little boy nicely. After all 'gentlemen' are one half of 'ladies and gentlemen'.

I can understand that in any given children's store, 70 percent or more of the clothes are intended for girls. After all, who does not fall in love with the cute little cardigans or sweet little dresses that the fashion industry allows those under the age of six. (After that age, mothers of girls run into a whole new set of problems.) But from the age of one, it seems boys are supposed to fall into one of the following three categories: basketball players, camo-wearing soldiers, or foul mouthed rappers.
Even if the slogan or picture is not offensive, the colours are loud and the style is ultra casual. Only now, around Christmas, you can find some cute little suits and shirts. Simply finding a real shirt with buttons is a challenge throughout the rest of the year.



Of course I am not sending my son dressed in a 3 piece suit to play in the sandpit, just as mothers of girls know that there is a time for a bit of lace trim, and a time for T shirts and knits. But when we go to church on sunday, or on a visit to grandma, I want him to look dressed up. After all, I am raising the next generation of gentlemen. If I want girls in 20 years to find men who know how to wear something else aside from track suits and jeans, I need to teach him now, or the idea of wearing a tie will be foreign and ackward to him at age 16.
Real men, know how to dress. And it is up to us mothers, to teach them.