From Belgium, with love

I am back in the motherland for a vacation. My husband, two boys and I are staying at 'Ama's house', Ama being the name my oldest son gave my mother when Oma was still a bit too difficult. She likes the unique feel of it and has always remained Ama. His other grandmother is 'Mimi'. Again a unique name. I am more of a traditionalist myself and would have gone for the traditional oma and granma or gran, but who am I to insist on that when both Ama and Mimi are absolutely delighted.
Back in Belgium I am for now. While the weather has not been so kind, we have visited parks and wandered around the streets, seen the cathedral and the river and spend times on the tram as well as gazing at the trains on magnificent Antwerp, central Station.
I have so far kept myself from wonderful Belgian pralines, but succumbed to way too many fries, and a box of commercial chocolates. I am determined though to weigh a little bit less in two weeks when I return home than I weigh now. Living in South Carolina can sometimes give you a false image of what normal weight is. We are in the top five I believe, of the most obese states in the US, which is the most obese country in the developed world.
I remember when I arrived in the USA that I was shocked to see so many people THAT overweight. I was never a size zero, but I was slender and fit. Five years of driving everywhere by car and have too much food too easily available, combined with stress and children have done a number not just on my weight, but more importantly on my perception. Grabbing a cookie from the pantry is perfectly normal. Grabbing five cookies because you have not had luch, and emptying the sleeve later on is not. Not taking care of yourself because others take even less care is wrong. It's like boiling frogs, you adjust and adjust... without noticing and then all of a sudden you have gained twenty pounds and are wearing your maternity jeans 6 months aftr giving birth.

Things need to change. I do not have the time or the mental energy to do a complete haul over fitness program, but I need to start with awareness. I need to start with small measures. Ten minutes of fittness a day when I get back home. And leave off the cookies. As everybody knows the diet that you will start after new year or after your birthday has much less chance of being successful than the diet you start now. So because of that, I started two days ago, not as much with a diet, but with more awareness. I am grabbing my needles in the evening instead of a chocolate (or three, or four), and if I absolutely must have a snack, like this morning when one of the children had eaten half my breakfast, a piece of fruit is a better choice.
Now hold on tight, I want the more slender, healthier, and more positive me back. And I am going to do something to get it!

Good mom moments

Yesterday was a good day. One of those days in which you think: wow... I'm doing something important, and I am doing it well! There was not really something special going on, but the house was clean and I managed to keep it up during the day. I decluttered one cabinet, and took plenty of time to play with Joseph. We played with the puzzles and it hit me, wow... I'm doing well.
I am pretty uncertain about my mothering skills due to the difficult first months. These last four months now, there are more and more moments when I just look at him and see what a happy, healthy, loving little boy he is, and I realize that out of the depths of exhaustion, something beautiful must have happened. That by the grace of God, I did well.
Those moments are quite often ordinary, like the quick glimps of success in which I made my fifteen year old todler put all his blocks away before playing with the puzzle and mommy and little boy played a game of who could put the blocks away quicket. When my little boy grabs a book out of the book basket and comes with it to me to wiggle himself on my lap awaiting a story and a cuddle at times it takes my breath away. Of course there are also moments that I just wish I could get on for a few undisturbed moments with the laundry, or an email, but such is life.
When I looked around me yesterday, I felt so content and on top of things. A clean house, a happy husband, and a nice looking healthy meal for our boy. When I brought out the nice little plate with homemade chili with lots of vegetables, lean beef, beans, a little bit of salad on the side and nice strips of wholewheat tortilla, I felt SO good as a mother. I was on top of the world, just because the meal I prepared was healthy and pretty enough to put a picture on my blog.
After such a high comes reality of course in which Joseph dumped his bowl over the carpet next to his little table half an hour later in the thirty seconds it took me to go to the kitchen for a new portion of the chile for myself. After the great mom moment in all it's award show glory, there I was on my knees, scrubbing the carpet before the spots set, telling my todler 'no' in my sternest voice as he tried to smear whatever chili he managed to get on himself on me, while my husband was on the phone with my beloved mother in law.

Ah... mom moments. They come in all shapes and sizes!