Saint Valentines Day

Happy Saint Valentines day everybody!

I know several people who dislike Valentine's day. I know even more people who complain about how commercialised a holiday this is, and how it truely is a Hallmark invention. The explenation then goes on about how we should show eachother every day how much we love them and maybe a complaint about the price of roses or chocolates is thrown in.

I can understand these sentiments. And I would never let an oportunity go to waste for blaming a big company for some of the ills of this world. But in truth, Valentines day is as commercialised as you want it to be. As I type this, my husbands Valentines day present is in the oven. I am baking him a dozen rose shaped cupcakes. The fact that they are cupcakes is for him. The fact that they are rose shaped probably more for me, because for him just any cupcake would be a great gift. The fact that they are rose shaped does not matter much, as long as they are edible, which still remains to be seen as I had to substitute some ingredients in the recipe. Oh well... I have a back up: a box of nilla wafers.

Yes, my friends, a box of nilla wafers might be my Valentines gift to my husband, and you know what? He would be delighted with them. Not just because they come from me, but because he sincerely loves nilla wafers and we never keep them in the house. It's a treat. Something that shows I love him, that shows I want to do something for him, even if it's just picking up a box of Nilla wafers because I know they make me smile. They are storebought in contrast to the cupcakes, but I doubt they are what people have in mind when they complain about the commercialisation of Valentines day.

The other complaint 'that you should show people you love, every day how much you love them' seems very valid at first. Unless... why if you show people you love, every day how much you love them, you don't need to step out of your ordinary pattern for Valentines day at all. Just go on showing!
Since you are doing it every day, this should be simple right? I think most people who complain about the extra effort do not take that much effort to begin with. Valentines day is not the only day that I make cupcakes out of the blue, just because he likes them. Or that I pick up a treat just to make him happy. I just love making him happy.

******we interrupt this blogpost for an important message: the cupcakes are now out of the oven and definitely a failure! I fear they are inedible, probably due to too much baking powder. A good thing I have the Nilla wafers as a back up, and a cute little card! Now back to our scheduled post singing the praises of Valentines day*****

I just like the fact that there is a day designated to remind us to be good to those we love. That are reminded once a year not to go through our daily life without telling people how much they mean to us. It may be slightly artifical, but how many of our feast days and customs are? As humans we cultivate the soil, artificially creating fields of food that would never happen in natures wonderful chaos this way. It is part of our nature to plan and to organise. Setting aside a feast day to remember something is a time honoured tradition. In all cultures things are celebrated on certain days, the sun, birth days, maturity, coming of age, religious holidays... we surround ourselves with rituals that measure time in precious moments. Valentines day can be such a precious moment if you let it. No need to buy a hallmark card. No need to spend a lot of money. No need to commercialise your love. Just enjoy this extra oportunity to show the ones you love, how much you love them.

Merry Christmas: in retrospect...

I just wanted to wish everyone a merry christmas.
Christmas with children is a whole other experience. As you can read here, I found that out for the first time last year in a fog of over exhaustion and dissapointment. Life with Joseph did not become much easier after that for nearly half a year more. Now, while we still have challenges, I feel like I am slowly returning to be a human being, which makes it much easier to be a mom. THe fact that Joseph is a wonderful, happy boy though, reassures me that I was a mom to him also when it was not easy.

This christmas so far has had it's own challenges. I will not even bring up the disaster of a journey that we had to Belgium or the annoying (though praise God not serious) ilnesses that we seem to go through each time we come here.
But there are things that are simply different when celebrating Christmas with a child. Traditions must change.. expectations be altered and the whole experience is a lot less cerebral and serene.


There are so many changes. We ended up not having a christmas tree inside at all this year. It was too much of a hassle to put one up in our own home when we were going to Belgium anyway on the 17th, and come back only after new year. And here at my mothers house, she -wisely- decided it would be much safer and simpler to put the tree outside. That also means... no ornaments in it as the ones we have are not suited for outside. That means no traditional decorating of the tree on the tones of Toon Hermans' Christmas skit and remarks about the little birdy that has graced the tree as long as I remember or 'my angels' the plastic, silver coloured angels of which one has a wing missing.

I did manage to put up a nativity scene in our house in the US, high up on the mantle since it is a beautiful, woodcarved scene that isn't intended for little childs hands. To compensate that, we bought a nice plastic nativity as well to put in the reach of little hands. Which lead to such wonderful exclamations as "Joseph, on't eat the baby Jesus!" But also to such tender scenes as Joseph giving little baby Jesus a kiss.
Unable to resist, we bought a second nativity for Joseph when we discovered the above duck nativity. With his duck obsession, it was a must. Fond memories include Joseph removing one of the three kings and adding a fireman duckie. New traditions are made. I think every nativity from now on will have to have fireman duckie somehwere nearby.

A bit more poignant is that we did not go to midnight mass for the first time in say... twenty five years. But with a todler finally on a semi decent sleep schedule waking him up at ten before midnight is just not an option. Instead we went to the noon mass today. A better choice. Despite it's lack of bells and whistles we were able to celebrate the birth of Our Lord with a happy toddler who even consented to remain in his stroller the entire time. When I went up for communion, my prayer was the same as last year: Lord, help me become a good wife, mother and above all a good Christian. I miss midnight mass, but as I have come to accept, this is a seaon in life where some things have to give way for other things. If I wish to celebrate a Child born unto us, I should not be grumbling and grudging about the things I need to change in my own beloved routines and traditions because of my sweet son.
Now more than ever, we are a new family, with new traditions in the making. Maybe I did not have a christmas tree with an angel that has a broken wing. But I had a duckie nativity, with one of the three wiseman replaced by a fireman. Life is good, Christ is born!