I love to read the blog of the lovely Mrs. Beguiles. I love her approach to fashion, to the challenges of looking put together on a small budget and with young children. My 'anti frump' statements are too well known to repeat here. But I do understand the big challenges for a mom with young children to look 'nice'. This last year has been pretty difficult for me, with a high needs infant and a three year old trying to cope with the endless crying, with no family or very close friends living nearby.
For me, my biggest challenge has simply been to find the energy to care. Some days I barely had the energy to get my children and myself dressed. But somehow, the days that I did manage to get 'all dressed up' ended up to be days in which I felt better. In which the day seemed to go more smoothly. And in which I reflected back at the end that it just been a 'better' day. Now with 'all dressed up' I do not mean that I wear stilleto heels and a ballgown, or look ready to attend a royal wedding. But being clean (come on, you too have had those days where it is noon and you realize you haven't even brushed your teeth!), having my hair neat and tidy, wearing something nice, and if possible even a touch of make up.... it just makes me feel better.

I know that my children seem to find an outfit in which I feel nice as a challenge. Nothing predicts a diaper blow out, from the baby on your hip, more surely than a clean dress that makes you feel happy it seems. But well, if the icky stuff had happened on a pair of old yoga pants, we'ld have to change as well, right? So what is the difference? Don't we want to feel happy and pretty? And if your answer is "I just don't care how I look" we might think about the effect of that on the people closest to us. Wouldn't we want to be a 'sight for sore eyes' for our husband and children, even if it is amidst an interior of oatmeal crusted plastic kids furniture instead of a pottery barn catalogue?

Over the years I have found a few tricks to keep the frump contained. Practical little things that help me out on the days that I just don't have the energy to think.
First of all, the enemy of a clean and happy exterior is clutter. Yes.. your wardrobe. You may think that you need to buy the new and happy, pretty clothes first, and then you will get rid of the ones that make you look like you are pregnant. Even when you are not. I will let you in on a little secret. I wore my pregnancy jeans way past pregnancy. I am not just talking about those first weeks past giving birth, but well.. way too long. It didn't look pretty. It didn't make me feel pretty. One day I had an epiphany. I looked at all my pregnancy clothes. Which ones did I really like? Which ones had been a blessing during this pregnancy and make me feel good and were still in good condition? I boxed those up. The rest, I put in a bag for Goodwill and hoped that a pregnant woman might find herself blessed with them. All of a sudden I discovered a lot more of my pre pregnancy clothes that fit again, but that had been hiding or that I hadn't dared to try on again. A few days later, I looked back into that closet and took another decision. What are the clothes that still fit really well, or are so close to fitting again that it is really worth it. (That size six dress was just not going to happen the next week.) Now be realistic. Which clothes that do not fit are really worth keeping? Are you currently in the process of actually losing weight? IS it working? If so.. chose only the things that you will really LOVE wearing when you are that size. Don't keep things that were from another youthful age as trophy clothes, or to taunt you about not losing enough weight. The few clothes that you do not really fit in but want to keep, either box them, or keep them to one side. (no more than five outfits.). All the rest put it in a bag right away and put it in the garage.
You now will be left with a lot less clothes, and you will be suprised that within that smaller lot, there is more that you actually want to wear. You may not believe it, but you won't actually have to run around naked if you throw out that pair of ratty jeans or that faded pair of yoga pants. You will find that you have bought those few things over the years that actually make you look pretty. And that you can cook and clean in them just as well. And the next time you have the time (and energy) to go shopping, whether at a thriftstore, target, the mall or a high end boutique.. you will have an easier time in rejecting clothes that won't flatter you, just the way you are now.

Another embroidery project finished

The Lord giveth,the Lord taketh away

I am being a bit facetious here. I just had blogged about everything falling in place for easter, when a few hours later, I finally succumbed to all the germs that have been going around here. I send off my wonderful husband to attend EasterVigil, and as a family we attended the 10 o clock mass.
But first there were eggs and chocolate crosses to find. And a lot of books, toys and dvd send over by doting grandmothers. Unfortunately, the grass was too wet for outside, so we had to hunt eggs inside. Too bad, because we usually have the cutest pictures of our family. This year will be known in our photographic history as 'the easter when everybody had a cold'>

I said earlier we attended mass 'as a family' but Michael at age 14 months is at the stage where there is no way to keep him in the pew. And leaving him alone in the nursery means he will cry the whole hour. I keep reminding myself that these are just a few months and that Joseph came out of them capable of sitting more or less through the entirety of mass without causing his parents a nervous breakdown. Unfortunately Joseph is in the middle of a rebellious phase. Up until about ten days ago things were going very well, then all of a sudden, we find ourselves in weeks of tantrums, disobedience of rules that he never had any problems with and more of that kind. Growing pains, I guess. We just try and keep consisitant in being strict with the bad behaviour and at the same time throwing in extra snuggles and "I am proud of you" for good. It must not be fun to be three.
Anyhow, by the first reading, Michael had to be taken out. I managed to keep Joseph with me for a little bit longer, till righ after the consacration, but at the cost of part of my sanity. After I had brought him to the nursery for dada to play with, I cried my way through the rest of easter mass.

Luckily things went a bit better from there on. Lunch with our friends was wonderful. The rest of the day went by without major incidents, except the worsening cold.
In the midst of all these day to day mini trials though: the Lord be praised, for He is good. I don't understand Him, and luckily I don't have to. He is greater and His plans better than I can comprehend.

God blesses...

Lent has been strange this year. I have blogged before about the different ways you start to approach holidays once you have children. How once cherished traditions sometimes need to make way for more childfriendly alternatives, and new traditions need to be developed. With christmas things worked out splendidly, and I was well on my way for lent. Then illness visited our little house and remained an unwelcome visitor. In itself, nothing major happened, but one by one all of us got one virus after another, until almost all of lent was filled up with tending to various illnesses and mishaps. My lenten craft projects and charts with Joseph, most of my own lenten sacrifices and routines.. the discipline of it all seemed to be born away under a current that was too strong to resist. I prayed, and was aware of lent. But that is all I was able to do. Underneath it, as I carried a crying Michael, I just prayed for strength, and prayed for God to consider my service to my family, and my attempt to do so patiently (a matter of trying and failing and trying some more) as my lenten sacrifice this year.
For some reason though, as Easter approached, things seemed to start falling in their place. A family we have befriended recently, invited us for Easter lunch, so I would not have to cook, we managed to arrange our attendance to several of the masses and liturgies and somehow, some way, found little pieces of time to prepare for tomorrow. The house is still a mess, and at 10 pm the night before, there is still laundry to be done. But I am feeling at rest and am awaiting my husband's return with the eternal good news that can never be undone by small earthly problems:
He is RISEN!!

Photo happy

I have been very photo happy lately, instead of my usually wordy posts. The reason is simple: life has been so hectic that it has been hard to find the time to gather my thoughts to write. Sometimes I have the time to sit down, but just not the mental accumen to put any thoughts to paper. If I actually have any thoughts in the first place. I know the mothers who currently have little ones running around know the feeling. With every new developmental phase, there are new needs and new schedules, and it seems like the only constant in your life is transition. And chaos.

Add to that fact that this last six weeks work has been crazy, and my usual ten hours of work (most of which I work from home) have been growing and being more out of the house than in, as well as a number of illnesses in a row... things just seem to have spun out of control. Michael also is still high needs which means that most days.. I just run around frazzled even though work is back within normal boundaries.

So, in the evening, when in theory, I would have time to write you all about the days experiences, I often have to sit wordlessly and thoughtless need to let the day's business slide off from me with an idle brain, and hands soothingly occupied with some needlework or something else.

I am trying to create order in the chaos. Not the nice, serene order of a Pottery Barn catalog for kids. But an "I do not stick on the floor, nor break my neck" order. With the last round of illnesses though, we have been in survival mode: making sure everyone is fed (healthy or not), making sure everyone is dressed (mostly clean, or at least with no too noticable icecream or ketchup spots from yesterday) and making sure everyone is alive at the end of the day.

Currently I am trying to get out of the survival cocoon. Trying to find the floor again underneath the stuck on brocoli (okay, that might be a slight exageration, but not much.) And trying to get a semblance of order back in our lives.

In the midst of that, I keep trying to get some simple and special moments in my children's lives. A bedtime book routine with Michael. A craft with Joseph. There is so much to tell, and so little time to do so. So that is where the pictures come in.

With that said, here are a few more that I snapped yesterday:

Birthdays

My mother and I almost share a birthday. Hers on the 26th, mine on the 24th. This year she was having a 'big number' birthday, so that had to be celebrated.

Being married

There are many advantages to being a married woman. One of them is that fishing a dead squirrel out of the pool filter is not your job. I love you, my dear, wonderful husband!!